The Bead of God’s Love

On this bead  we thank God for his infinite love…
Thank him for the greatest gift of all (John 3:16)
in which he has shown us the fullness of his love.
On this bead I give thanks to the Lord for every gift of love through others…

…for everything in my life ~ for life itself.

Love, the greatest gift, given to us freely by God, who looks upon us with infinite, intimate love, deeper than we could ever imagine. Recall the feeling you experienced when you first gazed upon your newborn child. Time it by 1,000,000. You’re not even close.

Thinking of God in this way is quite overwhelming. Just as we can build walls between ourselves and God’s peace (as I wrote yesterday) we can build walls between ourselves and God’s love. In recognising our intrinsic unworthiness, we can forget that we have been made worthy by His love. Perfect love, that took Jesus, as a voluntary sacrifice to the Cross.

Sometimes, in confusing unworthiness with ”un-loveable-ness”, we cut ourselves off from the full realisation of God’s love and it’s redeeming transforming power in our lives. In the Eucharist we experience the culmination of that love, made visible before us. Receive…

Today, let your God love you…

Let Your God Love You

Be silent.
Be still.
Alone.
Empty
Before your God.
Say nothing.
Ask nothing.
Be silent.
Be still.
Let your God look upon you.
That is all.
God knows.
God understands.
God loves you
With an enormous love,
And only wants
To look upon you
With that love.
Quiet.
Still.
Be.

Let your God ~
Love you.

~ Edwina Gately

The Serenity Bead

Touch this pearl often. You need it!

It is said that “fear not”, and other expressions with the same meaning, are mentioned 365 times in the Bible. That is one such encouragement for each day of the year! May this thought be in your heart and in your thinking…that every day God is telling us not to fear!

Pray for lightheartedness in your life. “Don’t worry – be happy!” and thankful!

This bead is sometimes called the lightheartedness bead! Think of it ~ to have a heart that is light! I prefer the word “serenity”, as serenity calls to mind a peace of heart, a sense of calm and all being right within us. Serenity is a still pond, unruffled by the winds of strife. All is quiet; all is still…

Sometimes serenity can be hard to find, tantalisingly out of reach, yet Jesus promised us the peace that “passeth all understanding”. He is true to His promises, it is us who block the path of His peace, bu building walls of worry and anxiety, stress and concerns. Why not let the Holy Spirit dismantle your walls, brick by brick…

“When you are worried and restless, you may lay down your heavy load, forget your worries and leave them in front of the One who says: ‘Do not worry’ and ‘My peace I give unto you’. You may pray:
I give away my load of worries. I receive Your peace.
(I breathe out my worry, I breathe in Your peace.)”

“Come to me, all you that labour, and are burdened, and I will refresh you” (Matthew 11:28)

The Desert Bead

Sometimes we live like in a desert.
Here I face the trials of life,
the fight and the everyday struggle for life.
I have to live it through. I can’t avoid the desert of life.
I become aware of the temptations, my shortcomings,
my doubts and fatigue.Sometimes I hurt others.
Often I fail in my good intentions.
I feel dirty and full of scars.
Oh, Lord, I live as if in a desert!

I can grasp the desert pearl and pray:

Lord, cleanse me – that I will be clean!
Heal me – that I will be whole!
Draw me close to you – that my soul will find peace!

Where is the desert place?
It is within each of us. We carry it inside our hearts. We can be in a room full of people, in a crowded place, surrounded by life and colour, sound and movement, and yet feel utterly alone and as dry as sand under a baking sun. The early Christians recognised this place as one where God resides, and so moved to the desert in order to seek Him. We now know them as the “Desert Fathers”.

In the desert we are stripped of both comfort and distraction. The world loses its power to lure us away from God. As with the prophet Hosea’s wife, we are lured into the desert places of the heart so that God can woo us back to Him. The desert is a mirror, held up to us, so that we can see our true reflection and be humbled. Though dry and arid, it is a blessed experience. I am thankful for my desert places…

Dear Lord…
Please grant that I shall
Never waste my pain; for…
To fail without learning,
To fall without getting up,
To sin without overcoming,
To be hurt without forgiving,
To be discontent without improving,
To be crushed without becoming more caring,
To suffer without growing more sensitive,
Makes of suffering a senseless, futile exercise,
A tragic loss,
And of pain,
The greatest waste of all.

~ Dick Innes

The Baptism Bead

The bead is about to give oneself completely to God, it’s about Christening, about new life. White means that every single day we may start again. Every single day we may trust that God takes care of us. Just as the Virgin Mary held Jesus in her arms, so does God, our heavenly Father, He holds us in his arms.

This is the pearl also for regenerating.

Use it in your prayers for committing yourself and your life to God.

Over and over again.

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

I was blessed this weekend to attend a Catholic baptism, that of my young nephew. During the service, I was given an opportunity to renew my own baptismal vows. Every day a new beginning. Every morning when I wake, a chance to recommit myself again to God, to remember my baptism and be thankful. Through baptism, we are welcomed into God’s family. Each day, I accept that welcome afresh ~ I align myself with the family of God; I take on the yoke of my Christian birthright; I choose to step out into the light of the Holy Spirit and be His ambassador in the world.

You have invited me O Lord;
Into Your hands I commend my life…Amen

The “I” Bead

This is a small pearl to remind me of my place in the creation.
I am small. I am just one part of it all.
But I am precious in the eyes of God.
He created me in his own image!

The “I” bead is one of the smaller beads in the Pearls of Life. It is also closest to the God bead. It tells me…

I am small and insignificant

But I am close to the God of all

He watches over me

He takes care of me

St. Therese of Lisieux recognised how small she was. She called it her “littleness”, like a little child totally dependant on her parents. The smaller I become, the lower God has to stoop to reach me, the more His love and mercy are revealed.

The “I” bead helps me to connect with who, and what I am…

I am tired, weary, burdened…

I am a child of God, loved by Him, created in His image…

“I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine” (Song of Songs 6:3)

The “I” bead helps me to see all that I am in the Light of His Love, and from a heavenly perspective.

Lord, lead me to the place where I can be ALL that I am in You.

The Silence Bead

This is a pearl for meditation.
It is meant for the “in-between-moments” you need in life.
The pause is important.

Look at the sentences “God is nowhere” and “God is now  here”.
What is the difference?
Yes, the interval, the pause, which changed the feeling of an absent God into the God who is present.

“For in him we live, and move, and have our being” (Acts 17:28)

It is time for silence, withdrawal, retreat. Life has become increasingly more frantic, busy and full. Demands fly at me from all sides. In the act of juggling the demands of home, work, friends, family the voice of God has become ever quieter, smaller, more distant.

I step back.

Breathe.

Focus.

…in the quiet space, I hear a whisper. It is God’s voice, calling me to a deeper unity with Him. Inviting me to lay the cares and burdens at the foot of the Cross. Welcoming me into sacred, healing space. I feel the caress of God’s love upon the worn and weary places of my heart. I remain still, and allow Him to bring healing and hope. In the silence, I connect with Him, and with me. All is peace…

I wait.

where do I look when I am lost?

Life is finding oneself…

People change their lifestyles to find themselves.
Marriages break up when one spouse feels the need to go on a voyage of self-discovery.
Others diet, overeat, take drugs, have cosmetic surgery.
All are not to be judged. They are seeking…

It is easy to lose oneself in the midst of the noise, chaos and demands of a busy life. We may have caught a glimpse of the real person within, that core of ourselves which is made in the image of God, and one day realise we have lost sight of that person. We may never have found her at all.

All humanity is on a journey of searching and seeking, and most of us look in the wrong places. For our true selves are “hidden with Christ in God”. The discovery of self lies in the discovery of He who made us: our Creator God. “Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the LORD, and I will bring you back from your captivity;” says the Prophet Jeremiah.

Let us seek…

Discussions with “self”…

The cloister and cell only assure an external solitude. It is only the first step whose goal is to encourage interior solitude, or purity of heart: to keep one’s soul away from any and all things not of God or which do not lead to God. It is at this level that the Carthusian meets the sudden impulses of his thought and the changes of his feelings. As long as the monk discusses with his “self”, his sensibilities, his worthless thoughts, unreal desires, he is not centered on God. It is here that he experiences his weakness and the power of the Spirit which he learns bit by bit “…the habit of the tranquil listening of the heart which allows God to enter by all path and access.” (Carthusian Statutes 4.2)

These words burrow their way under your skin, into your heart; they challenge and convict. How can they be “translated” into an everyday language for the ordinary person? As laypersons, are we troubled by “sudden impulses of thought” and “changes of feeling”?

Of course. For monks are human, we are human, and such distractions are the very nature of our humanity. One could say that Humankind’s fall from Grace was the triumph of “self” over God, and every person upon this earth, bar Jesus and His Mother, has struggled with this interior battle.

This passage defines self “sensibilities”, “worthless thoughts”, “unreal desires”. Sensibilities has a number of meanings, but captures the nature of our thoughts and our emotional life, which often express themselves turbulently and selfishly; worthless thoughts are those which are centred on the trivialities of everyday life; unreal desires are those desires which lead us away from the source of all Truth and reality. In all of them, we are not centred on God.

Anyone who has experimented with contemplative prayer will know how hard it is to switch the mind off, and focus all ones attention on the God we seek to contemplate. It is a journey made all the harder by living in the world, with all it distractions and temptations, which often seem brighter, more glamorous, more exciting than seeking God in silence. Perhaps, more often than not, we give up before we have even entered into that place of contemplation. Or maybe contemplation merely seems to bring us more starkly face to face with our “self” and all that it comprises.

I am a novice on this journey. In fact, less than a novice ~ a postulant even. I am testing the waters without really getting wet, paddling in the shallows without taking the risk to swim out to the depths. It is a slow, and often tortuous journey. I often feel discouraged and return to noise and hustle and bustle where I find familiar comfort. Seeking God’s face is a “stripping-away” experience which can often leave one feeling exhausted.

But surely it is worth pursuing if we truly desire communion with God, and to come face to face with the source of all Love. We cannot help but be transformed by such Love, and as a result be able to hold all God’s creatures in Love’s embrace. For emptying oneself of “self” leaves room not just for God, but for others too: we become less as He becomes more and our works turn to dust.

Mary of Bethany chose the better part, and that is the choice He places before us.  Lord, give me the strength to end the incessant “discussions with self” and choose instead to converse with You.

Glass Walls

“Jesus was lead by the Spirit in the wilderness”
(Lk 4:1)

At the centre of Carthusian life is the hermitage. The community life brings together a group of hermits. It is in solitude that the heart is deepened and inhabited. The hermitage is a place above all of communion with God and, paradoxically, with man. The monk is “never less alone than when alone.” Little by little his heart will be is enlarged to the dimensions of Christ’s love encompassing everything and every person in heaven and on earth. His cell, as it were, has “glass walls”. Apart from all, to all we are united.

From the Parkminster Website

Such a beautiful concept! The Monk’s cell has “glass walls”, through which he can see the whole wrold with the eyes of the Spirit. Far from being cut off from the world, the contemplative life is intrinsically bound up with it; through prayer, God changes our hearts, so that they beat in time with His, and with those of the whole world. It is our humanity, bound up with His humanity which connects us to all humanity.

We may not have a physical cell, but we have the cell of the heart, the place where God resides. Is our heart closed off, or does it too have “glass walls”? Can we take the risk to open our hearts to the pains, joys, loves and concerns of others; to feel what others feel, to share in the sorrows and sufferings of the world? To do so in prayer is to seek and find the Heart of God, which bleeds for all.

The world is both disturbed and disturbing. If we engage with it, we will find much which we would rather turn away from. It is far easier to turn our face away, walk on the other side of the road, convince ourselves of our own righteousness and others’ depravity. What would happen if we witheld judgement and sought to discover the humanity and love in every human heart, however deeply buried? To embrace and love, instead of to reject and hate?

Through prayer, God has given us a mighty weapon of love if we can empty our “cell” of self and allow Him to fill it. Then we can risk allowing all of humanity into our cell, because it is not us, but God, who resides there, and God is big enough…

God is infinitely big enough!

Why…

…am I so slow to make time for You, my Lord, my God?

When I wake in the morning, so many things call to me. My plans for the day, yesterday’s left-over concerns, not enough time to sit and pray, to rest in your presence in the rush of  eating breakfast, getting ready for work, hurrying for the bus. When I get to the office, I fear I have left You behind.

Why am I so reluctant to put You first, my Lord, my God?

It’s lunch time, and I am hungry; food for my body is my first concern, a reviving coffee, a chat with my co-workers, time spent on the computer, and then lunch time is over. As the afternoon begins, I realise I didn’t stop to pray, to chat with You, to let You revive me. I forgot about You Lord.

Why am I too lazy to seek Your solace, my Lord, my God?

I am home, and tired. I kick off my shoes, change my clothes and make a warming cup of tea; tell my husband about my day, check my e-mails, rush around in the kitchen throwing a meal together and then collapse in front of the tv. Soon it will be time for bath and bed. My day is gone Lord.

And then I stop and think…

If I had got up a little earlier and made time for You this morning, I would not have arrived at work feeling so stressed and rushed…if I had fed my soul at lunch time aswell as my body, I would have felt guided this afternoon…If I had spent just half an hour with You when I got home from work, my evening would have been blessed.

Now it is bedtime, and in the quiet of my room, I kneel before Your Crucifix. I confess the times I forgot You today. As I kiss your bleeding feet, I feel Your loving forgiveness wash over me. I tell You about my day and see that all along, You were there ~ I just didn’t notice You; I didn’t look at You…

Lord, tomorrow is another day, a new day. Help me to remember not to forget You in it…

~Amen~